Cold Awareness Gifts

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

Deforestation.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Electric Blanket.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"I hate this time of year."

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"We've had too much rain - they don't have enough - we'll sell our rain and make millions!"

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Before Climate Change/After Climate Change

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"How do I stop climate change? Tip 1: Insulate your house..."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"This is the coldest winter I can remember."

Caution Hot!

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

Hottest temperatures on record.

"My f-f-feet are f-f-frozen."

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'