Colander Collector T-Shirts

Yeth, hello noodle factory?

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Punt Cake

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Hoarder."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Modern Witch Shoppe

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I wonder what this was for."

'How old is this vase?'