Cord Collector T-Shirts

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Six jazz instruments.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"What are you doing?"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Music & Gym'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Try his land line.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Robert Drake

Gramaphone Man.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

So close... Yet so far.

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"I wonder what this was for."

Doug tries to impress his blind date with his expansive collection of Charo CDs.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."