Coffee Theologian Gifts

The Decafé

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Burning the midnight oil.

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Teapot

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

Broken Alarm Clock.

Waiting for retirement.

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'Would you like a push Dear?'

Bearded Leftie.

'You've had enough!'

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

"He gets his best ideas that way."