Coffee Servers Gifts

How About Serving Us For a Change

"Man's best friends."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

National Coffee Day

Decapitated coffee.

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Kitty's Coffee Shop

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'This meat is off, bring me the manager.'- 'Sure, would you like him fried or boiled?'

"I need this! A laptop with a cup holder!"

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

The Coffee Tattoo

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"How are your latte art classes going?"

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.