Coffee Servers Gifts

How About Serving Us For a Change

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

Wifi in Hell

"Man's best friends."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Decapitated coffee.

National Coffee Day

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I need this! A laptop with a cup holder!"

"How are your latte art classes going?"

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

Dateline - Caf

'This meat is off, bring me the manager.'- 'Sure, would you like him fried or boiled?'

The Coffee Tattoo

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."