Coffee Mavens Gifts

"Man's best friends."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

'I'm an atheist!'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

The Cattle show Week.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

"Accepting for..."

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"I need this! A laptop with a cup holder!"

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

Why The Ball Is Jumping Out

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

Three witches standing around a carafe in a coffee machine, waiting for it to fill

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

Acme Coffee Co.

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"My one-man band is breaking up."