Coffee Mavens Pillows

Announcing the Fad Herald. I am not worthy. Coffee. Black. Straight coffee. Are fancy espresso drinks out? Is that your pronouncement? No pronouncement. My hours have been cut back. I'm here on my own time. Furloughs are in?! You're reading too much into this. Interpretations are out.

"Man's best friends."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'I'm an atheist!'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

The Cattle show Week.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"Your mascara is running."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

"Accepting for..."

Ralph Stanley

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"I need this! A laptop with a cup holder!"

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

Tuba Player Stores a Barrel of Beer

Why The Ball Is Jumping Out

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I realize that you're upset that Oprah hasn't reviewed your new book on her show. But you are on MY show, so why don't you tell us what inspired you to write 'Overcoming Disappointment and Resentment.''

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

Three witches standing around a carafe in a coffee machine, waiting for it to fill

Milla Jovovich

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

Acme Coffee Co.

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."