Coffee Comic Gifts

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'You've had enough!'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"A votre sante!"

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'This decaf's lousy.'

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."