Coffee And Caffeine Joker Gifts

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'These are job perks.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Pope tarts.

'You've had enough!'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

Stress

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

Working from Home: In/Still In

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

For Edward, a cup of coffee was no longer enough to get him started in the morning...

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

"Okay, that's one pizza with all our toppings and one without."