Coffee Break Joker Gifts

"I got an e-mail from 'Bored Housewife', looking for some action. So I sent her my laundry."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

Sweet Jailbreak

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'Ever thought of early retirement?'

'Why is it the one moment I choose to relax you walk in?'

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

"Decaf, Sid?"