Coffee Addict Gifts

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours sleep and be all right. If I fall asleep now, I'll get four hours sleep and drink lots of coffee. If I wake up now, I can call in sick before anyone gets to the office..."

"Please wait while we have a cup of coffee and a bit of a chat about what we're doing at the weekend your call is important to us..."

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Non-Jet Lag.

Spring turkey season has Pete super paranoid...

Woman crashes at work. Kelly's nightlife collides with her day job.

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"Ahhh, the all-important eighth cup of coffee of the day..."

'How many cups of coffee have you had today?'

'When he wakes up tell him that if he wants to keep his job he has to go back on caffeine.'

'Just one more coffee and then I'll quit. I swear I can quit. Just one more frazzlecino and then I know I can kick my habit.'

'I don't think there actually is a right side of the bed for you to wake up on, Dear!'

'Someone stole my chair.'

"What's the big deal? We pull all-nighters all the time."

'Sometimes it's so noisy in here I can barely hear myself complain.'

'You'll have to excuse me, Gentlemen, this is the time I usually take my coffee enema.'

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

"Keep pouring. I'm a masochist."

"Useful? You bet! I wouldn't have known I hadn't met my donut goal without my Fatbit."

Coffee Pump

"The entire kingdom is on a war footing, ready for battle as you ordered this morning, Sire!"

"Rough day; I have a staff meeting at nine, presentation at ten, big conference call at noon and then at three I'm getting fired and escorted out of the building by security."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

"Extra scoop."

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Getting things done.

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"I'm tired of being happy. Let's switch to decaf."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

I have something to say. Just tell me. Are you dying. Have you lost your voice for good? Get me a @#$% coffee you freakin' #$%^ loser! I'm healed, thirsty and you're a stinkin' loser! Rejoicing.