Coconut Craver Gifts

'Henry is just back, but not really, from his vacation.'

Picking pastries.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

'I need affordable daycare now!'

World of Cow.

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'I used to love the wild abandon of the old stampedes.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'I miss the noise, the pollution and all the other stuff that we came here to get away from.'

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

"Sorry I've called last orders"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

'Hey it's a recipe for coconut cakes!'

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

Desert Island with CCTV.

'Please help - can't afford sweets - spent pocket money on mobile phone credit.'

"Breakfast's ready, darling."

Alien that resembles a coconut is marooned on desert isle. Human on the same island cracks open coconuts. '. . acts of unspeakable barbarism by indigenous life form continue unabated . . .'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

Coconut shy...

'My wife is on a diet of bananas and coconuts, she hasn't lost any weight but you can sure climb trees!'

No, he wants the other one … No, not that one … No, to your right … No, above that one …

"I have a really bad habit of beating myself up...and my addition to sweets is not helping matters."

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'