Cocktail Shaker Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'I'll be home for dinner in a few minutes... I'm getting my stomach lined right now.'

Shaken Old Bartender

"This place has the best happy hour."

'No ice.'

Join me in a Martini?

We'll have Manhattans...

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

Shaken not stirred

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Margarita

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Beach flirting

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"Oh, may I freshen your drink, Dr. Marshall?"

"Been there, drunk that."

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

Complaints Desk

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

My first mistake.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

Corpse Reviver Number 2