Cocktail Shaker Pillows

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'I'll be home for dinner in a few minutes... I'm getting my stomach lined right now.'

Shaken Old Bartender

"This place has the best happy hour."

'No ice.'

We'll have Manhattans...

Join me in a Martini?

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Balancing two espresso martinis

Shaken not stirred

Margarita

Beach flirting

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

Complaints Desk

"Been there, drunk that."

"Oh, may I freshen your drink, Dr. Marshall?"

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

My first mistake.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

Corpse Reviver Number 2

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'Another martini please.'

"You're either the olive or the Martini."