Cockroach Schemer T-Shirts

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

"It's a setup."

"I don't think much of their defence."

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

Roach Motel

"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"

Melody Cockroach.

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

Old man: 'Good news! Scientists have doubled the lifespan of cockroaches.'

In. Out. Destroyed without my knowledge.

"And lately I've been feeling very sluggish!"

"If we don't decide what we're worth, who will?"

'Hey,everybody - Shower time!'

"Do you suppose there's life under other rocks?"