Coast Guard T-Shirts

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

Acme Discount Life Vests

'Thank you for calling the Coast Guard help line. To sink, press one. To swim, press two…'

Sea Rescue - rescuing animals from the arc.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

"I suggest we either move the chair further inland, or get a higher chair."

Fish Lifeguard

"It's not what you think. My family is on the yacht and I needed a little Me Time."

"Who was it said, 'No man is an island'?"

'Whoa! Thank goodness for lunchtime . . .'

'This lifeguard says that he's coming after he finishes his lunch.'

Armed punts on the Cam keep North Korea at bay.

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I'm melting!'

Florida Coast - oil spill - Limbaugh.

Shark tower surveillance camera.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Take us up young man, we've got a good grip."

'Ramming speed sailor.'

"They won't say what they're doing way out here Skipper, but they're adamant they're not refugees!"

"Something tells me the Coast Guard isn't coming, Barbara."

"My new job? Well, I'm still getting my feet wet."

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Coast Guard Meets Camp SCUBA Exhibit

"I've been here half an hour - call the Coast guard!"

"It's the Coast Guard - they want to know how many life-jackets we have onboard."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"It's another text from that clown in a Speedo. He says 'Help! My phone's almost dead! Throw me a landline!'"

Giraffe looking out of a lighthouse.

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

"911....How can I help you?"

Frontex

"Ticket and passport, please."