Coast Guard Pillows

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

Acme Discount Life Vests

'Thank you for calling the Coast Guard help line. To sink, press one. To swim, press two…'

'Oh - It's you.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Fish Lifeguard

"It's not what you think. My family is on the yacht and I needed a little Me Time."

"Who was it said, 'No man is an island'?"

'Whoa! Thank goodness for lunchtime . . .'

'This lifeguard says that he's coming after he finishes his lunch.'

Armed punts on the Cam keep North Korea at bay.

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I'm melting!'

Shark tower surveillance camera.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"Take us up young man, we've got a good grip."

'Ramming speed sailor.'

"They won't say what they're doing way out here Skipper, but they're adamant they're not refugees!"

"Something tells me the Coast Guard isn't coming, Barbara."

"My new job? Well, I'm still getting my feet wet."

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Coast Guard Meets Camp SCUBA Exhibit

"I've been here half an hour - call the Coast guard!"

"It's another text from that clown in a Speedo. He says 'Help! My phone's almost dead! Throw me a landline!'"

Giraffe looking out of a lighthouse.

"911....How can I help you?"

Frontex

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Charlie, are we being rescued or captured?"

"My wife must have fallen in here...those air bubbles indicate she's still talking!"

Fisherman Rescue

"Ca you describe the shark?"

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

"First time paddleboarding?"