Coastguard T-Shirts

Drowning Hand

'Looks like they finally figured out how to ferment coconut milk.'

Lighthouse Hammock.

'Hold it, there! Prepare to be boarded.'

"You're wanted on the phone, it's the coastguard."

Lifeboat

"Aren't you freezing?"

Coastguard

Child pretending to be the coastguard on a boat.

Mobile offered to drowning person.

"No, it's SOS! Not Save Our Boat!"

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

Saved...life is good!

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

The upturned beautiful pea green boat signalled an unpleasant turn of events for its occupants...

"All those sharks look like ants from up here."

Illustration for 'A Wrinkle for the Coastguard'.

"It's okay! Shark attacks like this are incredibly rare."

Lighthouse switch

Lifeguard with barely any experience. . .

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Swimming Prankster