Coach Potato Pillows

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

Yawn

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

Use it or lose it.

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

"Go on catch up and find out what we slept through."

"Don't think of yourself as a football widow. Think of me having a football mistress."

'That's his personal trainer.'

"Let's get married in the morning...then if it doesn't work out, we haven't blown the entire day."

"I'm not sure. He either disappeared during 'Days Of Our Lives' or 'General Hospital'."

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

'I tried jogging once, but it frothed up my beer.'

"You have your national pastime and we girls have ours!"

Runner thinking about sleeping.