Couch Potato Champ Pillows

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

'That's his personal trainer.'

"Don't think of yourself as a football widow. Think of me having a football mistress."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"Go on catch up and find out what we slept through."

Lockdown Brain

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

University Soapflakes

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Love is when you watch television together.