Couch Potato Champ Prints

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

'That's his personal trainer.'

"Don't think of yourself as a football widow. Think of me having a football mistress."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"Go on catch up and find out what we slept through."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Love is when you watch television together.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."