Couch Potato Companion Pillows

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"What have I been doing all summer? Oh, you know... just sitting around... shedding."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

American Idle.

'He does lack social skills.'

Love is when you watch television together.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Love is when you watch television together.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

"You are still here."