Couch Potato Pillows

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

"Do I need to remind you that I have a huge Internet following?"

'If reading books is so important, how come you never see people on TELEVISION doing it?'

Man searching for book in sections entitled 'Do it yourself' and 'Get someone else to do it.'

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

'Running away from your problems does not count as exercise.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Watching TV through window - "You should have measured the doorway first."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Columbus At Home...'A Spoon!'

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

The Unexamined Life on Demand

"It's like I'm actually walking my dog!"

'DIET? EXERCISE?... Can't you just OPERATE?'

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

Spray Cashews

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

"Don't try to tell me this P.E. class! Get back to your homeschooling!"

"Roger and I are just sitting around, letting ourselves be targetted by advertisers."

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

'It's not laziness, its stress management.'

"You have repetitive motion injury."

'Where does this go?'

"This new reality show is boring and stupid!" "You're watching the news!"

Mousehole TV

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

Is this your social life?: Party - Or is this: Fall asleep infront of Frasier.

'I'm disappointed. I thought this was a show about Contract Law.'

The Secretary of the Interior noted that American children spend a daily average of only four minutes outside.

"I think his Olympic dreams have died."

U.S. sports fans struggle to fully appreciate the finer points of soccer!

Deadly Radon

"Maybe you should see a doctor about your lack of energy."

"It cost $699. But when you factor in the time wasted sitting in front of it, well, the real cost is enormous."