Couch Potatoes Pillows

'. . . And touch those toes. . . isn't keeping fit fun? . . . Touch those toes. . .'

'I thought you were' going to straighten up the closet? . . . Too late. I just did it. Once again, the potential of promises is mugged in the alley by the 3 stooges - shoulda, coulda, and woulda.'

"Yeah, it's sports-related, Doc...I was watching the ball game on TV, reached for my beer and 'wham'!"

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

I've voted that one of us has to get thrown out

'He's the only thing around here that doesn't need a surge protector!'

"You were supposed to abduct these people! Not watch their stupid TV!"

Pizza delivery boy coming out of the television.

'Donna, I think the dog wants in!'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

Greetings earthling.

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

'Winning the Lottery hasn't changed him one iota-he's still the same old,fat,bone idle git!'

'What if this is as good as it gets?'

'Edward's a homebody, which serves him well now that he's on house arrest.'

'The following football game contains moments of strategic planning followed by bursts of violence...'

Junk food telly.

Action news.

'And the finalists for this years 'American Idle' are...'

"Would you please bring the endangered species here a drink?"

Netflix - Who's Watching?

"Excuse me. I'm a running watch, not a watch TV and eat junk food watch."

"That's enough exercise for one day."

England's Euro 2020 Campaign: Warming! May Cause Drowsiness. . .

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

Deadliest Catch. The doctor says my health is in real danger because I just lay around watching TV all day. "The Deadliest Couch."

The Woman Without a Core

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Dad, snap out of it. The postseason ended last week. The Red Sox lost."

"I learned a new trick today. Just kidding."

The Presidency Ages You

"Airfares are up. Thousands of flights are being canceled. Gas is over $5.00 a gallon. Looks like I'll be spending my summer right here."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

This PBS program is made possible by funding from viewers like you. This part always makes him feel awkward.

He told me I couldn't sit on the couch anymore, so I buried the remote in the backyard.