Coach Potato Duelist Pillows

Use it or lose it.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Starvation Watching

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Lockdown Brain

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

Ball and Chain

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"