Coach Potato Brigade Pillows

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'He does lack social skills.'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

It's hammerhead time

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

Campaign 2016

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

Pet Hobbies

Our hero rounds the bases to the bathroom, refrigerator, cupboard and slides safely into home!

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

'Maybe he'll start to move again after the world cup!'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

Yawn

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

Use it or lose it.

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'

"How many times are you going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

"This year at tax time I'm going to claim him as my child."

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'