Couch Potato Crusader Pillows

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

University Soapflakes

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Unconditional Loveseat

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Now that's Real TV!'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Starvation Watching

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Football Accident.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Lockdown Brain

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'