Clumsy Classic Gifts

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

Showbiz Awards

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"I dropped my goblet!"

Man walks into 'Watch your step' sign.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Museum. It's great we got this job moving statues here at the museum. CRASH! That was no time to make a joke about a "piece of art."

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

'Can I help it if I was given all thumbs and two left feet?'

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

Job applicant.

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Spilt wine

Unlucky sculpture.

How to smash a guitar.

Jack B...not so Nimble.

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble down the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'Doctor, you must help me...I seem to be hopelessly accident prone...' (Patient somehow gets covered in doctors ink)

Quick-sand

"I can't believe this! When I was your age, I never hit a ball through a window!"

'You have to try to be more careful, Daddy - You almost broke little Mike's roller skate!'

Man carrying lots of brushes is about to trip over one.

Garden stagger

"Would you please leave the painter alone!!!"

'You're not going to last long at this hospital if you don't watch it...You've stepped on a lot of toes!'

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Attila the Klutz.

'It's an old football injury. I fell off a bar stool while watching the Rose Bowl on tv.'