Clumsy Comedian Gifts

'You're not going to last long at this hospital if you don't watch it...You've stepped on a lot of toes!'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Showbiz Awards

The Fall of Gnome

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"I dropped my goblet!"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'I told you not to slam the door!'

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"Football concussion - one beer too many at the game, and I fell off my seat."

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

'Can I help it if I was given all thumbs and two left feet?'

Job applicant.

"I dropped my phone and even though I picked it up within 5 seconds, the screen still cracked."

'He's accident prone... he just poked himself in the eye with his safety-glasses!'

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Spilt wine

Unlucky sculpture.

"Would you please leave the painter alone!!!"

'You have to try to be more careful, Daddy - You almost broke little Mike's roller skate!'

"I can't believe this! When I was your age, I never hit a ball through a window!"

Jack B...not so Nimble.

Garden stagger

"Did you make all these 911 calls?"

Man carrying lots of brushes is about to trip over one.