Club Wielder Gifts

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"River well stocked this year."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Dance.

The Walk of Shame

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

His master's chill-out album

Gorgeous Groovers.

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

Still a mystery to scientists, honey bees will 'dance' for the other hive members in order to signify the exact location of flowers to be pollinated.

Forrest Gander

Shepherd

'He uses the leg rope in the water and she uses it out of the water!'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

Man holds up giant disco ball on slope.

Girls night out. Dress up, liquor up...throw up.

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

The invention of baseball.

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

"Jerk! They know me here!!"

Writer Crisis

"It's worse than I thought."