Club Security Gifts

'So - what's your problem?'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

La Table

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"He's a guard dog."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

Dancing at the Clubs.

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Moulin Rouge Security

A Little Extra

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Death to the Extremists

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'The grudge match.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"The club scene is really changing."

"We've been cancelled."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

The Best Defense

Mou...Man trap!