Club Security T-Shirts

'So - what's your problem?'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

La Table

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Dancing at the Clubs.

Moulin Rouge Security

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'The grudge match.'

"The club scene is really changing."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Mou...Man trap!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.