Club Critic Gifts

'No wonder this club has such a low membership fee.'

Paul Ree

Dancing at the Clubs.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"The club scene is really changing."

"We'll always hate Paris."

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

'Corporations' studying a city for its 'pros' and 'cons'

Focus Groupies

'I'm a fiscal conservative, and a social liberal.' 'Unfortunately, he's also a moral anarchist.'

Hap's Bar & Grill: 'Stress manager on duty.'

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

'He's here to apply for the bouncer job.'

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

"Sometimes, on a clear day, you can actually see a tree..!"

'For the larger appetite we suggest choices from the children's menu.'

Nerd night at the club.

Cybergoths.

'Looks like there's been another crackdown on truth in advertising regulations.'

'It's that plan to re-introduce wildlife into their original territory.'

Lap Line-Dancing Club

Cat attending mouse nightclub.

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

"Verily, I doth detest these mock Stone Age taverns."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"You. You. And you."

'The Glee Club meets next door. We're the Deliriously Happy Club!'

The Moron Nightclub: 'Psst! Psst! You can make a quick twenty bucks if you forget the cover charge, look the other way and let us sneak in.'