Clown Gifts

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

'That would be a whole lot funnier if it weren't hooked up to your colostomy bag.'

"Your father and I wish you would choose a career that's a little more practical and a little less disturbing."

Why it's not always a good idea to wear your work uniform to court...

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Bad news. You have to start wearing sensible shoes.'

'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'

"Well, that was a birthday party the kids won't soon forget."

Crash Testing Clown Car.

"I thought we agreed you were going to cry on the inside."

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'Here's the bastard now and he's carrying our Maude's bladder.'

"Well, he's not going to rescue himself."

'You folks enjoying the big top?'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

Another blind date ends badly for Jimbo the Clown.

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'

"Clydesdale here is our specialist in funny little noises."

"Seltzer . . . seltzer!"

"I know you probably hear this all the time, but I've got a great idea for a balloon animal."

'I have a surprisingly small carbon footprint.'

'Dad, why can't I have sensible shoes?'

'Well, he certainly has his father's nose!'

Interviewer reads Clown's CV and a custard pie pops out.

"Kids terrify me."

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"I don't want to get too serious."

'But in your business, being laughed at is good, isn't it?'

Boardroom cream pies.

Balloon Dog