Cloud-based Car Talk Gifts

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Support groups for car repairs.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

"It's worse than I thought."

When did you last have your oil changed?

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

Psychic car mechanics.

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

(Visual gag) Taxidermist.

"It's garage music."

CLEAR!

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"I'm your problem."

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'Here he comes now. I told you my mechanic was a good one.'

Say ahhhh.

"And you say it does really well in the snow?"

'Your car broke down? Oh, my. Well, don't panic. Just be there for it. Listen and try to be supportive.'

Jump-starting Frankenstein's monster

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

"We did everything possible, doc, but I'm afraid your car passed away during the night!"

"Bernard is our sous-mechanic."

'Is there any way you can deliver everything to my e-mail account for now on?'