Clothes Curious Gifts

Two woman fighting over a top in the sales.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"That shirt is so last year."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"Hair spray"

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"Can you de-schlump him?"

F&E Designs. My reversible jacket didn't turn out very well.

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

'I think you're rocking the bold look, too!'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

"Do you do these in sheep?"

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

'Do you buy any chance have a gazelle print shirt?'

'I thought for sure your perfect attendance record was coming to an end today, Stillwater.'

Sweaters. Remember, son, we're men. We walk in, we buy, we walk out. No browsing.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'