Closet Performer Gifts

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Shoe addict.

Allegro con molto espresso

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Caught in the Music

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'Well, one of us in wrong.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Closet.

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

"Just as he was singing 'I'd like to be under the sea in an Octopus' garden', a giant, tentacled arm reached up and pulled McCartney into the ocean."

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

Snake listening to music on headphones.

Trilby - 'Gecko'.

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

'Poor old Fred at home. He thinks I'm out selling Tupperware.'

'Now, are you looking for a closet or something under a bed?'

Britney-style schoolgirl.

For Sale. And, of course, there's a roomy walk-in closet.

Honey?! Can you bring up two crowbars to Twig's room? What for? She needs help. Mo-om! You're being extreme. Done! You've got plenty of space to hang your new Christmas clothes. Ok. I'll clean out my closet. Our work is done!

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

"Remember -- you're a mutant sea urchin, and your parents never loved you."

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?