Closet Diver Gifts

Crap from a closet.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"How many capsule wardrobes is this again?"

'One of them's his air, the other one's his mp3 player.'

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

Closet.

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

'This closet needs digitized.'

He was forced to take early retirement.

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

'GPS systems don't work under water, so my job as a pilot fish is quite secure...'

We're all litigation crazy. Last week I had to sue my wife for joint custody of the closet.

'George, did you order a lure retriever from E-Bay.'

"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

"Oh, I love this! The huge walk-in closet comes with it's own master bedroom!"

'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

A lesbian couple diving for pearls

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

Honey?! Can you bring up two crowbars to Twig's room? What for? She needs help. Mo-om! You're being extreme. Done! You've got plenty of space to hang your new Christmas clothes. Ok. I'll clean out my closet. Our work is done!

'Now, are you looking for a closet or something under a bed?'

Sitting In