Closet Detective Gifts

'Your car keys are under the sofa, and you like to wear women's shoes.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

The Missing Sock Returns

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Micro and Macro Department,

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Missing sock

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'After you with the camouflage.'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Devil in the detail

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Hipster Police Department

The Complete Cycle.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

Where missing laundry socks go!

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

Closet.

When pedants take a break.

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Forward Planning - The key to Success

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy