Couch Detective Gifts

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."

'When was the last time you saw your TV remote?'

'This man is wanted in connection with a discarded crisp packet on Saturday 14 July this year...'

Closed Circuit TV

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

TV-Man

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Don't look at me!'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Missing Easter Egg

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.