Clipboard Enthusiast Gifts

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

"Okay, now I need your name."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

A woman playing a keyboard

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The Escape Key

'Nice graphics.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

The origins of bullet points.

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"Pressing the escape key won't get you out of the boss' doghouse."