Climate Change Satirist Gifts

"We've gone green. We use solar power to ignite the coal we burn."

"I'm training for the 250 Iditarod."

"Global warming has been good to me... I switched from investing in coal to rubber boats."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

New uses for excess coal

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

Minnesota Weather.

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

US Winter Weather Map.

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."