Cliche Comedians Gifts

'Hi! Welcome to Cartoon Cliche Island!'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Not here - home!'

Countervailing Clichés.

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

'Botox.'

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting

On reflection I think I could have coped with just 340 degree feedback.