Cliché Phrase Cynic Gifts

Dunkie Biscuit Co - Will you stop saying that's the way the cookie crumbles?

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The Forever Stamp

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

And they lived happily ever after for a few years until the quirks they found so cute in each other when they were dating eventually drove them both insane the end.

Someday

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

Hare tells tortoise: 'Remembe the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Will Self deprecation

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Gullibility Test $1.00.

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."