Cleaning Warriors Gifts

'It doesn't look good, sir - the enemy is amassing vacuum cleaners along our southern border.'

"My kitchen is a magical place. People suddenly appear at mealtime and disappear when it's time to clean."

"Remember when all this was free?"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Ironing day.

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"Would it kill you to compost?"

The household cavalry

The Ladies of Kew encouraged everybody to recycle.

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

'What's the difference? It was a man-made lake in the first place.'

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

We need an eco project that actually changes things. Ha! Good luck. Eco-club. Hey! We cut the school's use of plastic bottles 50% from last fall. Ahem. This year I feel 50% guiltier.

Fumes from furniture

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

We're polishing our brand.

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

NYC Department of Sanitation

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

Message in a Plastic Bottle

"So one day all our homes will be completely powered by rubbish. Just like that guy."