Classroom Critiques Gifts

Educational Review.

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Uni. Snowflake Library

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Phrenology head filled with National Curriculum instead of real knowledge.

"O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?"

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'I'm sorry,Mrs.Hurley, but my mind's on 'hold' today.'

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

"For the next few hours, I'll be bringing you info with no tainment."

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."

"Call me when you get some current stuff."

Teacher Shortage/Brain Shortage

'I would probably do a lot better if you would just teach me stuff I already know.'

"If we're learning about multitasking, why does she need our 'undivided attention?'"

'Those poor grades are due to a lack of data driven evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

"We can't BOTH be in this apple. You know I hate Common Core."