Classroom Champion Gifts

The best advice I can give a new teacher is to listen to your students with your ears and heart

Parents teacher conference.

"I circulate around the classroom to make sure the class runs smoothly. I need a pair of comfortable walking shoes."

'I do not permit bullying or name calling in class. I will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

"Joey Bain. Daniel Baxter. Robert Morley. How has your day been?"

"Thanks for your report on flamingos Johnny."

'If you don't do your homework, you'll be a child left behind.'

"Tammy first, then Charles."

"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's listening to teachers whine about their conditions."

"There she is...Melinda Alvarez...the smartest girl in the third grade."

"What does your father do for a living?"

Thank You Teacher

'Being a teacher, I'm very athletic. I'm a political football, a punching bag, and I jump hurdles.'

'All tooled up for the new school term?'

'I did okay, but nothing to crow about.'

'I think people are starting to rely too much on teacher-supplied materials.'

My teacher must be very experienced. She said she's been teaching fro what feels like a thousand years.

Lessons.

"How come they can have a teacher shortage, but we can't have a student shortage?"

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

"Who gives you homework?"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Children's education

'Come out of that cupboard. If you can't stand up to the class bully, who will? After all, you are the Headmaster...?'

'I heard you're retiring and I wish you well. But before you go, will you do one thing for me...take me with?'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"