Classroom Hero Gifts

'My objective is to have each student become more insightful, compassionate, introspective and empathetic. In your case I will settle for quiet.'

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

''Excellent','excellent','a delight' - for heaven's sake, don't you ever feel like rebelling a bit?'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'OK, it's a new season, so I want to see some hustle out there!'

'Alex, you get a gold star. Colin, you get the, uhm, border around the stars.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

What a coincidence! I'm a teacher in an inner-city comprehensive too.

'Very impressive conflict resolution experience! I see you taught the third grade.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

"I call it riding Rob Dunkin's coattails. Miss Vega calls it copying."

'My mother signed my report card. It got smudged by her tears.'

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

'Of course you've seen that essay done before. I'm repeating the fifth grade.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"Who's leaping, loving, living to learn today?!"

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Before we do the register...can any of you teach English?

"I can answer searching questions, I can answer trick questions, and I can answer penetrating questions, but test questions give me a lot of trouble."

"No question is stupid when all the questions are stupid."

"Mrs. Wilmore, I want to be just like you when I grow up. Falling asleep at my desk."

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"...And thanks to our new budget, class sizes are a low 40:1 ratio!"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So help me, if one more first grader asks 'Why teacher?'. . . I think I'll scream!"

"My teacher forgot to congratulate me on my great math grade. She was too busy calling Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Being a teacher isn't easy."

Attention Span

"You're an excellent teacher, Ms. Danver, except for your me-against-them attitude."

Teacher's Lounge: Exit At Your Own Risk.