Home Classroom Hero Gifts

I am homeschooling you. That doesn't mean you can misbehave in class. If you keep calling out, I'll have to call your mother and report my concerns to myself.

"Mom, I'm losing my edge with remote learning. I've forgotten how to harass a substitute teacher!"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

Do your research!

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"How was work?"

Evil Exams!

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"I could get used to working remotely."

'Home Schooling'

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

Covid and Restarting School

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'