Classical Art Appreciator Gifts

"Kiss me. I'm Claude Monet."

Old ladies trying to remove fig leaf from statue.

The DaVinci Code

"Mr. Right!"

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Diego Velasquez

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

The Death Of Venus

Et in Arcadia Ego

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Berta screams out!

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

'The Warhol of Dorian Gray'

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

The statue of Apollo takes a selfie with the Venus de Milo.

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

Football Sculpture.

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"Have you give any thought to my suggestion about a sculpture that's just a chubby kid constantly peeing."

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"The Ceiling is slightly wider than I'd planned."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

Visuals by Frans Hals.

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

The iPad Players